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Sunday, January 8, 2012

WHY AROD'S "PROCEDURE" IS JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED

What do ARod and a little kid have in common? Both of them play doctor! In this case, ARod was the patient with a bum knee who needed to be patched up…..but who could help him? It is hard to find someone out there who can give good advice about knee repairs these days. Out of all of his aging friends with bum knees, he decided to call up his friend Kobe Bryant to help him rebound from his poor 2011 season. He told Alex what he had to do to get his “pop” back again….go under the knife and get that blood supercharged. Kobe swears by the surgery, and if Kobe endorses it then it must be good, right? You can read about the procedure here HERE.Of course, Alex seems to be the "bad boy" and gets himself into trouble a lot so he decided to play by the rules and cleared it with the Yankees first and the Commissioner’s office. Last thing Yankee fans want to hear is that Alex gets another slap on the wrist or is grounded by Bud Selig who says he can’t come out to play when the season starts.

So I know that some big shot doctor performed this "procedure" and he has some technical jargon to explain it but let me simplify it and tell you exactly what this surgery is going to do for ARod; it is going to be like the Fountain of Youth. I know you think it is a myth, but hey…Kobe swears by it! Let’s face it, I’m not taking a shot at ARod here but he is not getting any younger. Lucky for him somehow the blood from under his arm ages slower so now that it was mixed up with some secret miracle juice and injected into his knee and it will suddenly be young and sprightly again! That revived and youthful blood is going to bring back all of the power that ARod lost at the plate. That back leg is going to generate so much power the balls will be flying off of his bat. Instead of watching ARod favor his leg running the bases, we will see him chug all the way home as Michael Kay yells “See Ya!” This experimental surgery is what will bring the real ARod back to us, 2009 is coming back again everyone!

Oh and don’t worry fans…apparently the treatment can wear off but if it does, ARod can just undergo a 2nd surgery like Kobe did! It can work; ARod can just get surgery as often as needed until his contract is up in 2017, we can keep this old man ticking until then and we will make that investment pay off! Those of you laughing at all of the money we are paying him, be prepared to eat your words! We will have the last laugh. Hey, some people get plastic surgery to look younger, and some people just get experimental surgery to keep their bodies from giving out on them….as long as it gets us to #28, and it's signed off on... WHO CARES?!



--Jeana Bellezza --BYB Writer and Editor


By the way... you think this is clever? Check out Bronx Goblin... HERE and HERE. Hilarious.

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